The earth cradled a patch of heaven between her arms. I walked through the woodland smell, through the thick-trunked trees, eyeing the wall of gray and moss mountains far off on on either side. Greenery always makes me happy; I'm glad I was brought here.
Be free.
I explored, and came across a large, expansive lake touching the horizon. I swam. I saw the entrance of a cave. It was too dark to go in, and I felt like I was not supposed to go inside anyway. Instead I went to a small grassy hill and lied down to watch clouds and sunlight behind the canopy. I thought about how serene this place is, but also how lonely it could get by myself - even here.
I created a clearing.
Far, far back at the end of the clearing, just before the forest was a figure, reminiscent of No-Face from Spirited Away, except that his mask really did have no face. It wasn't moving, and it was too far away. I didn't feel threatened, but it just felt off. Like the area where he was looked like it was raining television static. I didn't mind it for long.
Hey there.
In the center of the clearing was a stone-and-wood cottage. Wide, but with only one floor. Stone chimney, thatch-roofed. Stone path leading from the weathered, wooden front door. It was open.
On the doorway stood a girl - my guide. She was not familiar, but everything about her made me want her to be. She wore a simple sundress and a tender smile. She wasn't producing light, but I don't know how to aptly describe it other than that she shone. She was bright. I never knew what to call her, but she didn't seem to need a name.
She took me by the hand and stepped backward into the house, from the door through the hallway. Still smiling, so welcoming.
We reached a room. Inside was what looked like a storage room. It was windowed to let in light, but it was empty except for bare platform shelves that lined all four walls.
What I think it meant is that I need to fill this room. Fill it with art, literature, paintings. Accomplish and create things that shall endure, things worth preserving. That this room has the potential to be beautiful, to be complete. I looked at my guide, and she nodded knowingly, even though I had this realization wordlessly.
It was time to leave the room. She took my hand again and led me through the hall and into a second room.
It was the kitchen, and inside, sitting on a bar stool was my father. I really didn't want to see him so my first reaction was "Ah, fuck." But his appearance may have had a lot to do with me thinking over and over "Please don't be my dad, please don't be my dad."
He was smiling sheepishly.
Me: What are you doing here?
Him:
Me: This is supposed to be my place.
Him:
Me: I don't want you to be here.
Him:
Me: You are NOT a good father. You never were there for me, so stop trying to crawl into my life now. There is no place for you here anymore. You missed your chance.
Him:
Me:
And then it was time to leave.
My guide led me out of the cottage. I walked out and followed the stone steps leading away from the clearing. I looked up - the outside looked darker, the shade the world is under when rain is about to fall. My guide waved from the threshold. I guessed that she couldn't step out.
Ten
Nine
This adventure felt serene. But it was time to leave the valley, the lake, the cottage, the girl (, and my mind) behind.
Eight
I was in the classroom again, looking at my body sitting down, in a trance.
Seven
Six
Five
I slowly walk back to where I'm sitting.
Four
I recall that I might forget everything after I wake and I consciously take note of my weightlessness and hope I remember this feeling, please even just this.
Three
It feels amazing.
Two
Perfect.
One.
Infinite.
*snap*
Now, you can open your eyes.
